Week 6 - Save me Julio
I saw a Bull on the way home from work today, it was standing in the middle of the road and it was fucking huge, I thought it was a horse at first. Luckily it was on the other side of the road cause if it was on my side it would have probably done to me and my car what my team have done to my fantasy season, thrown us around like Tyreek Hill playing with his kids.
For those of you paying attention I'm off on holiday tomorrow so I'm getting this up early. I'm off to Split for those of you that are interested (luckily none of you know where I live so I don't have to worry about you coming round and stealing my stuff). Unfortunately I get back on Sunday in plenty of time to watch the last shovel full of dirt get tossed on my grave.
As mentioned in this mornings blog (not that any of you read it unless I tell you to) it's do or die time for 4 teams in the league. 4 of us are sitting at 1-4 and in a cruel twist of fate we are playing for our seasons each facing off against one of the top 4 teams.
Before we get to previewing this weeks blow outs it's time to look at some notable match ups in the real world. On Thursday night the Giants travel to Boston to face the Patriots No1 ranked Defence with a rookie QB, a third string running back (unless Saquon really is superhuman) and a fresh off suspension Golden Tate as WR1 so yeah good luck with that one lads.
On Sunday Carolina face off against the Bucs in the Spurs Family Arena, Jan Vertonghen has been told he's not allowed to try and bang any of the players wives, while Spurs are hoping Harry Kane doesn't decide to try out as a kicker after all. This game kicks off at 14.30, giving us extra time to laugh at Cregles if Mike Evans gooses again, remember to set your line ups. If you don't tough shit.
Elsewhere the winless, rudderless, managerless Redskins take on the winless Dolphins, who at least still have a GM, in a match up that could be the greatest sporting event ever shown on TV or could be like that time we went out to throw the ball about during one Super Bowl half-time and I concussed myself running into a tree.
In terms of actual games of football in the early window the Chiefs will be looking to bounce back against the Texans at home after getting superbly game managed by Jacoby and the Colts last week. The seahawks travel to Cleveland looking to turn the screws on a Browns team that promised so much but delivered Baker Mayfield, right now the only player anyone can play on the Browns is Chubb unless you're Lewis cause fanboys gotta fanboy.
In the late window the 49ers travel down the coast to face off against the Los AngelesStew Smalls Rams and the Falcons take on the Cardinals in a not quite as shit replay of the Redskins v Dolphins game in the early window.
On Sunday night prime time the Steelers travel to Los Angeles and prove that if you're not a bunch of sectarian dicks you can have two games in the same city. The Steelers are down to their third string QB after Mason Rudolph nearly had his head popped off his shoulders in a brutal collision that allowed us all to see that JuJu is a sensitive soul. On Monday night the surprisingly good Lions travel to Green Bay for cheese in what could on paper be a decent enough match against the Packers.
Our Cadle Bowl preview starts in mid table this week with Raeanne and Wee Dave, Raeanne is coming off of 3 straight losses and really needs a win to keep her ahead of the loser pack just below her. Dave meanwhile is fresh off coming from behind Emo at the last minute and finishing off in his face with his TE juice. This week Dave has issues, his flex wideout, the aforementioned JuJu is likely to struggle with his QB being dead and all, at RB his waiver pick up Gallman is also for all intents and purposes dead and he has no Defense. Expect Dave to hit waivers hard this week, Smithy watch out. For Raeanne the QB roundabout turns again and Raeanne is left hoping she makes the right choice this week. She will be hoping for a shoot out in the Texans game resulting in a big game from Hopkins after a disappointing season so far.
We turn to Smithy and his lucky start to the season, by this point we can see which teams are blessed by the scheduling gods and those that are left cursing his name. Smithy has definitely been blessed, his team are 4-1 and have scored the least amount of points for of the whole league. He has actually scored less than his hapless opponent this week, Cregles. In this match-up Constraints are just advantages in disguise and opportunities to be innovative and imaginative. Cherish constraints. Embrace them. Be very wary of external agencies and partners. They all speak a good game and promise the earth but at the end of the day they have no reason to care as much as you.
Living the punk DIY ethic means not relying on existing systems, processes or advisers as this would foster dependence on the system. You need to be an independent, an outsider, a nomad, a libertine. You need to be completely self-sufficient and not rely on anyone for anything. If a skill set is important to your business, then you better learn it and learn it fast.
Strawberry John is fresh off a fourth win on the bounce after trouncing me without breaking sweat last week. This week he takes on Stew in a Stew might cry if he loses game. Stews stress levels are currently through the roof and unlikely to be improved here against one of the seasons top teams. Stew is hoping his Rams finally deliver for him and get him a much needed win while we all hope Strawbs doesn't thrash him so badly he rage quits and I have to set his line ups the rest of the year. Although now that I think of it if that happens I might be able to avoid the toilet bowl so yeah Strawbs kick his ass, you can do it!
Lewis is next up to face Emo and his unorthodox fantasy football stylings, Ryan is still convinced that a man who thinks he's a lizard, Corey Davis and an 80 year old kicker on bye can win him a title. Lewis meanwhile is going with a more straight forward fantasy football tactic of relying on CMC to put up a bazillion points again. At least he better put them up cause Baker Mayfield will likely be channelling Mitch Trubisky again this week.
Finally I'm up against league leader Chris, of some comfort to me is that Chris has been beaten already this season so I know it can be done. However I'm relying on the same receivers that have let me down badly for two weeks in a row. Is it possible for all of them to fail to get me a TD or decent yardage again? Probably but by now I don't have much choice but to roll with what I've got, I can't drop these guys and I can't trade them. It's all or nothing for me. Chris meanwhile will be hoping that he's the third team in a row to benefit from a honking game by the Beers
So once again that's it, I'm off on holiday to a warm and sunny country instead of going to work in the dark and the rain, the cold, the wind. Enjoy fuckers and remember be like Zammo, don't be a dick.
For those of you paying attention I'm off on holiday tomorrow so I'm getting this up early. I'm off to Split for those of you that are interested (luckily none of you know where I live so I don't have to worry about you coming round and stealing my stuff). Unfortunately I get back on Sunday in plenty of time to watch the last shovel full of dirt get tossed on my grave.
As mentioned in this mornings blog (not that any of you read it unless I tell you to) it's do or die time for 4 teams in the league. 4 of us are sitting at 1-4 and in a cruel twist of fate we are playing for our seasons each facing off against one of the top 4 teams.
Before we get to previewing this weeks blow outs it's time to look at some notable match ups in the real world. On Thursday night the Giants travel to Boston to face the Patriots No1 ranked Defence with a rookie QB, a third string running back (unless Saquon really is superhuman) and a fresh off suspension Golden Tate as WR1 so yeah good luck with that one lads.
On Sunday Carolina face off against the Bucs in the Spurs Family Arena, Jan Vertonghen has been told he's not allowed to try and bang any of the players wives, while Spurs are hoping Harry Kane doesn't decide to try out as a kicker after all. This game kicks off at 14.30, giving us extra time to laugh at Cregles if Mike Evans gooses again, remember to set your line ups. If you don't tough shit.
Elsewhere the winless, rudderless, managerless Redskins take on the winless Dolphins, who at least still have a GM, in a match up that could be the greatest sporting event ever shown on TV or could be like that time we went out to throw the ball about during one Super Bowl half-time and I concussed myself running into a tree.
In terms of actual games of football in the early window the Chiefs will be looking to bounce back against the Texans at home after getting superbly game managed by Jacoby and the Colts last week. The seahawks travel to Cleveland looking to turn the screws on a Browns team that promised so much but delivered Baker Mayfield, right now the only player anyone can play on the Browns is Chubb unless you're Lewis cause fanboys gotta fanboy.
In the late window the 49ers travel down the coast to face off against the Los Angeles
On Sunday night prime time the Steelers travel to Los Angeles and prove that if you're not a bunch of sectarian dicks you can have two games in the same city. The Steelers are down to their third string QB after Mason Rudolph nearly had his head popped off his shoulders in a brutal collision that allowed us all to see that JuJu is a sensitive soul. On Monday night the surprisingly good Lions travel to Green Bay for cheese in what could on paper be a decent enough match against the Packers.
Our Cadle Bowl preview starts in mid table this week with Raeanne and Wee Dave, Raeanne is coming off of 3 straight losses and really needs a win to keep her ahead of the loser pack just below her. Dave meanwhile is fresh off coming from behind Emo at the last minute and finishing off in his face with his TE juice. This week Dave has issues, his flex wideout, the aforementioned JuJu is likely to struggle with his QB being dead and all, at RB his waiver pick up Gallman is also for all intents and purposes dead and he has no Defense. Expect Dave to hit waivers hard this week, Smithy watch out. For Raeanne the QB roundabout turns again and Raeanne is left hoping she makes the right choice this week. She will be hoping for a shoot out in the Texans game resulting in a big game from Hopkins after a disappointing season so far.
We turn to Smithy and his lucky start to the season, by this point we can see which teams are blessed by the scheduling gods and those that are left cursing his name. Smithy has definitely been blessed, his team are 4-1 and have scored the least amount of points for of the whole league. He has actually scored less than his hapless opponent this week, Cregles. In this match-up Constraints are just advantages in disguise and opportunities to be innovative and imaginative. Cherish constraints. Embrace them. Be very wary of external agencies and partners. They all speak a good game and promise the earth but at the end of the day they have no reason to care as much as you.
Living the punk DIY ethic means not relying on existing systems, processes or advisers as this would foster dependence on the system. You need to be an independent, an outsider, a nomad, a libertine. You need to be completely self-sufficient and not rely on anyone for anything. If a skill set is important to your business, then you better learn it and learn it fast.
Strawberry John is fresh off a fourth win on the bounce after trouncing me without breaking sweat last week. This week he takes on Stew in a Stew might cry if he loses game. Stews stress levels are currently through the roof and unlikely to be improved here against one of the seasons top teams. Stew is hoping his Rams finally deliver for him and get him a much needed win while we all hope Strawbs doesn't thrash him so badly he rage quits and I have to set his line ups the rest of the year. Although now that I think of it if that happens I might be able to avoid the toilet bowl so yeah Strawbs kick his ass, you can do it!
Lewis is next up to face Emo and his unorthodox fantasy football stylings, Ryan is still convinced that a man who thinks he's a lizard, Corey Davis and an 80 year old kicker on bye can win him a title. Lewis meanwhile is going with a more straight forward fantasy football tactic of relying on CMC to put up a bazillion points again. At least he better put them up cause Baker Mayfield will likely be channelling Mitch Trubisky again this week.
Finally I'm up against league leader Chris, of some comfort to me is that Chris has been beaten already this season so I know it can be done. However I'm relying on the same receivers that have let me down badly for two weeks in a row. Is it possible for all of them to fail to get me a TD or decent yardage again? Probably but by now I don't have much choice but to roll with what I've got, I can't drop these guys and I can't trade them. It's all or nothing for me. Chris meanwhile will be hoping that he's the third team in a row to benefit from a honking game by the Beers
So once again that's it, I'm off on holiday to a warm and sunny country instead of going to work in the dark and the rain, the cold, the wind. Enjoy fuckers and remember be like Zammo, don't be a dick.
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