Week 1 and what a draft it was
Ladies (Raeanne, Ryan) and Gentleman it's the start of September so that can mean only one thing, my draft is fucked already.
I thought that after my bloodless coup I could resurrect the weekly blog, since I don't really do much at work anyway and it helps pass the time.
First a wee draft recap - it was a disaster.Lets list how;
Raeanne was shit faced and rumoured to be asleep seconds before we began
Lewis was shit faced and in a taxi with Raeanne seconds before we began
Ryan threw his toys so far out of his pram he had to wait until he was old enough to walk to go get them and put them back in his pram
Oh, the NFL draft board sucks and kept crashing
Raeanne autodrafted about 17 kickers
My bold strategy of building a world beating receiver corp and relying on Lamar Miller as a boring but solid RB2 good for 1000 yards lasted about a day.
Cregles Andrew Luck draft love/week one rage quit took an early and unexpected twist this year when Luck decided to pull the plug on Cregles this time.
Apart from that the draft went well, Smithy bit the wife beating bullet and selected Tyreek in the second, Wee Dave had yet another solid draft despite it still being possible that he doesn't understand the rules of the game and Ryan strapped himself firmly to the Antonio Brown rocket ship (destination the moon).
At the time of writing this week one has already begun, the Bears faced the Packers at Soldier Field in what appears to have been a dull affair that has probably cost me my match ups in both leagues I'm in cause they're all wankers and why can't I have anything nice? Speaking of which if Julio sits on Sunday next season we're running from weeks 2 to 16.
Also to continue talking about myself the big match up of the week is Commish v Commish, the battle of the old and the new, the cops v the law, Duncs v Lewis, The Dons v Sevco, Right v Wrong, Left v Right and such and such. I don't really think I need to add too much else, everyone knows whats at stake here, bragging rights, the chance to humble the champ on his flag unveiling ceremony day. I'm just glad I left Geronimo on my bench.
Next up is Chris v Strawbs with Chris another early victim of last nights borefest opener. The big story of this game is clearly at running back. Both teams are almost mirrors to each other, Lev Bell and DJ are both hyper talented backs and both are playing behind what are both expected to be porous o-lines. can Bells soft shoe shuffle get the job done under pressure or will Johnsons pass catching abilities get him involved in an air raid system that is at risk of being done before it begins.
At RB2 again both teams have talented players with big questions, Dalvin Cook and Fournette have both shown incredible ability at getting injured, can either last the game and get the job done? Of note to the rest of the league in this match up, Strawbs is playing the Texans D so get those Saints in your line ups.
Up next is Stew v Raeanne and to make it interesting if Stew wins Raeanne gets to give him a swift kick to the balls. Stews team is loaded, with Rams, in a bold strategy Stew has decided that just being the Rams is the best way to win the 'ship. will Goff support himself, Gurleys knee and Cooks at wide receiver and deliver an early season roshambo? We'll soon find out. On the other side of the ball Raeanne used her executive powers to wrestle Lewis's favourite Ginger on to her team and is hoping the rest of her autodrafted team can power through to a week 1 win.
It's time for a break in the serious business of fantasy football or as it's other wise known Dave v Smithy. a game played between two managers that despite both being participants in the league since the start display the combined footballing knowledge of one Ryan Heatly (come on, if you got this far you must have known where that sentence was ending, is this the first time you've met me?). Smithy's team appears to have half the number of working knees a team should have and if Dave hadn't got lucky with Zeke he would be rolling with Payton Barber as his RB1. I think we all know how this ends, one of these teams will be punching and make the play offs, the other will be at the bottom with Ryan, the only question is which is which.
Speaking of which its time for our final match up, Craig v Ryan. For this write up I have decided to give Ryan a break from the jokes (got to save some for the next 15 weeks) and do everyone in the league a favour by not paying any attention to Cregles team, so in Family Guy style here is a small exert from Driving Miss Daisy instead.
Of course.
What I do not want, and absolutely
will not have, is...
...some chauffeur sitting in my kitchen,
gobbling my food, using my phone.
I hate that in my house.
You have Idella.
Idella's different!
She's been coming to me for years.
We stay out of each other's way.
Even so, there are chips
in my wedding china.
You think Idella has a vendetta
against your wedding china?
Don't be sassy.
When we couldn't afford them,
we did for ourselves.
That's still the best way
And with that all that's left to say is good Luck unless you are playing me or are Lewis. Oh and Lewis if you blow your entire FAAB budget this week then spend the rest of the year complaining that FAAB is shit it won't make me change back, be like Zammo, don't be a dick.
I thought that after my bloodless coup I could resurrect the weekly blog, since I don't really do much at work anyway and it helps pass the time.
First a wee draft recap - it was a disaster.Lets list how;
Raeanne was shit faced and rumoured to be asleep seconds before we began
Lewis was shit faced and in a taxi with Raeanne seconds before we began
Ryan threw his toys so far out of his pram he had to wait until he was old enough to walk to go get them and put them back in his pram
Oh, the NFL draft board sucks and kept crashing
Raeanne autodrafted about 17 kickers
My bold strategy of building a world beating receiver corp and relying on Lamar Miller as a boring but solid RB2 good for 1000 yards lasted about a day.
Cregles Andrew Luck draft love/week one rage quit took an early and unexpected twist this year when Luck decided to pull the plug on Cregles this time.
Apart from that the draft went well, Smithy bit the wife beating bullet and selected Tyreek in the second, Wee Dave had yet another solid draft despite it still being possible that he doesn't understand the rules of the game and Ryan strapped himself firmly to the Antonio Brown rocket ship (destination the moon).
At the time of writing this week one has already begun, the Bears faced the Packers at Soldier Field in what appears to have been a dull affair that has probably cost me my match ups in both leagues I'm in cause they're all wankers and why can't I have anything nice? Speaking of which if Julio sits on Sunday next season we're running from weeks 2 to 16.
Also to continue talking about myself the big match up of the week is Commish v Commish, the battle of the old and the new, the cops v the law, Duncs v Lewis, The Dons v Sevco, Right v Wrong, Left v Right and such and such. I don't really think I need to add too much else, everyone knows whats at stake here, bragging rights, the chance to humble the champ on his flag unveiling ceremony day. I'm just glad I left Geronimo on my bench.
Next up is Chris v Strawbs with Chris another early victim of last nights borefest opener. The big story of this game is clearly at running back. Both teams are almost mirrors to each other, Lev Bell and DJ are both hyper talented backs and both are playing behind what are both expected to be porous o-lines. can Bells soft shoe shuffle get the job done under pressure or will Johnsons pass catching abilities get him involved in an air raid system that is at risk of being done before it begins.
At RB2 again both teams have talented players with big questions, Dalvin Cook and Fournette have both shown incredible ability at getting injured, can either last the game and get the job done? Of note to the rest of the league in this match up, Strawbs is playing the Texans D so get those Saints in your line ups.
Up next is Stew v Raeanne and to make it interesting if Stew wins Raeanne gets to give him a swift kick to the balls. Stews team is loaded, with Rams, in a bold strategy Stew has decided that just being the Rams is the best way to win the 'ship. will Goff support himself, Gurleys knee and Cooks at wide receiver and deliver an early season roshambo? We'll soon find out. On the other side of the ball Raeanne used her executive powers to wrestle Lewis's favourite Ginger on to her team and is hoping the rest of her autodrafted team can power through to a week 1 win.
It's time for a break in the serious business of fantasy football or as it's other wise known Dave v Smithy. a game played between two managers that despite both being participants in the league since the start display the combined footballing knowledge of one Ryan Heatly (come on, if you got this far you must have known where that sentence was ending, is this the first time you've met me?). Smithy's team appears to have half the number of working knees a team should have and if Dave hadn't got lucky with Zeke he would be rolling with Payton Barber as his RB1. I think we all know how this ends, one of these teams will be punching and make the play offs, the other will be at the bottom with Ryan, the only question is which is which.
Speaking of which its time for our final match up, Craig v Ryan. For this write up I have decided to give Ryan a break from the jokes (got to save some for the next 15 weeks) and do everyone in the league a favour by not paying any attention to Cregles team, so in Family Guy style here is a small exert from Driving Miss Daisy instead.
and didn't tell me, I still have rights! Of course. What I do not want, and absolutely will not have, is... ...some chauffeur sitting in my kitchen, gobbling my food, using my phone. I hate that in my house. You have Idella. Idella's different! She's been coming to me for years. We stay out of each other's way. Even so, there are chips in my wedding china. You think Idella has a vendetta against your wedding china? Don't be sassy. When we couldn't afford them, we did for ourselves. That's still the best way Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=driving-miss-daisyand didn't tell me, I still have rights!
Of course.
What I do not want, and absolutely
will not have, is...
...some chauffeur sitting in my kitchen,
gobbling my food, using my phone.
I hate that in my house.
You have Idella.
Idella's different!
She's been coming to me for years.
We stay out of each other's way.
Even so, there are chips
in my wedding china.
You think Idella has a vendetta
against your wedding china?
Don't be sassy.
When we couldn't afford them,
we did for ourselves.
That's still the best way
And with that all that's left to say is good Luck unless you are playing me or are Lewis. Oh and Lewis if you blow your entire FAAB budget this week then spend the rest of the year complaining that FAAB is shit it won't make me change back, be like Zammo, don't be a dick.
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