Week 8 - I promise to set my line ups
So we reach the half-way point of the NFL season and with it brings the knowledge that it's now closer to Christmas than it is to the last time I had any excitement about my team. In a little over 6 weeks time our regular season will be over and most of us can forget about fantasy football till the end of next summer, apart from Smithy who will still be crushing teams underneath his 86 points a week juggernaut all the way to the championship. As the title of this weeks post says I promise I will try to attempt to find the time to think about considering looking into if my team needs any line up changes and then checking my schedule to see if I can find some time to enact those changes and field a legal formation from now on.
The second half of the season got underway last night with the Washington ethnic minorities travelling to Minneapolis to take on the Minnesota white settlers and as the more accurate than their real names names suggest it didn't go well. The 1-7 Skins (I checked, they beat Miami by 1 point) got beat 19-9 by Dalvin Cook last night.
On Sunday the clocks have moved stateside so games are kicking off an hour earlier than usual, anyone with a game time decision be warned. The early window features 9 games this week and kicks off with Seattle blowing out the Falcons in Atlanta, other potential blow outs in the early window include the Saints hosting the Cardinals and the Rams hosting the Bengals. In the late window the 49ers look to maintain their unbeaten season with a win against the Panthers and the Patriots look to do the same by completely eviscerating the Browns O-line and breaking Baker in half like a week old hot dog. In Sunday night prime time the Packers travel to Kansas in a game the network execs will be desperate for Mahomes to play in and on Monday night the Dolphins travel to Pittsburgh cause why the fuck not, it's Monday night football and I don't think anyone cares about showcasing the best the league has to offer any more, I mean they keep putting fucking Andy Dalton on.
In the Cadle Bowl we have one of our seasons most anticipated fixtures to kick things off. It's Raeanne versus Lewis, otherwise known as the 'Will Lewis have to sleep in the shed bowl' (catchy right?). This is a fixture where Lewis is notoriously quiet on the boasting front as he is smart enough to know that any gloating will result in him getting a breach from his wife. A win for Raeanne here ties her and Lewis up at 5-3. A win for Lewis opens up a gap and as per league rules everyone will be supporting Raeanne in this fixture. A lot of this tie is riding on the Pats Browns game as both QBs are in play and Raeanne is rolling with the uber confident Jarvis Landry, who just did a diluted Joe Namath and guaranteed a Browns win on Sunday. Ideally Raeanne needs a quiet game from CMC to keep her in this contest and speaking for the rest of the league I would just like to wish her the best of luck for Sunday, Lewis you can fuck off.
Next up we will get the eye cancer that will be me versus Emo out of the way. This match-up is likely to be the fantasy football equivalent of watching Smithy trying to score 5 goals without missing the target with no one else on the pitch. In an unusual turn of events for me I have woken up on Friday morning with a lead, largely thanks to Ryan having no part in Thursday nights game. What isn't unusual though is that I will still lose come Monday. In a week where I'm playing Sam Darnold after his -6 point game Emo probably doesn't even have to make a decision about Mahomes and will be fine rolling out Handsome Jim.
Speaking about Smithy and his lack of sporting talent this week we find him taking on Strawberry John, one of these teams is guaranteed a spot at the top by the end of the week and the other may find themselves right back in the play-offs mix. Diggs got John off to an early lead and he will be hoping to see some quick results from his Wilson-Lockett stack in a game that could get out of hand early. At running back Bell and Fournette face off in what he will be hoping is a low scoring ground and pound affair. Smithy gets the real life Terminator Saquon Barkley back for this week and he will be hoping for a commanding performance from the man who is most likely already destined for next years consensus 1.01 pick. Elsewhere at flex another one of last seasons darlings Michel can be no more than a desperation play, he hasn't looked himself and that coupled with Belichick hating your fantasy team and a packed RB locker room in New England leaves little upside.
Late last night Chris played Dalvin Cook. Dalvin James Cook (born August 10, 1995) is an American football running back for the Minnesota Vikings of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football at Florida State, where he finished his career as the school's all-time leading rusher. Cook was drafted by the Vikings in the second round of the 2017 NFL Draft.
Finally the leagues resident California dreamer Dave takes on the leagues resident stress ball Stew. Stew might be hoping to make it 2 wins in a row, at this point we can't really be sure as there is every chance he has forgotten he's in this league. Stew will be hoping that Michael Thomas and Allen Robinson can combine with his Rams offense to lay the pain on Dave and his RB corp of Shady and Jordan Howard (jesus fuck, how am I last?). Dave meanwhile is in LA and most likely has zero fucks to give about the outcome of this game. The rest of us are just glad Dave didn't go to LA 10 years ago as he would definitely have ended up in North Hollywood or South Central trying to buy drugs and guns from someone and would now be dead.
That's it, unlike my team I'm back from my hiatus and counting down the weeks until this shitshow is done. I no longer care if you win or lose unless you're Raeanne this week 'Go Tatties'. Enjoy your weekend, enjoy your match up and enjoy your beers. I'm thinking about some rum this weekend.
That's it, get the fuck out of here.
Endut Hock Heck
The second half of the season got underway last night with the Washington ethnic minorities travelling to Minneapolis to take on the Minnesota white settlers and as the more accurate than their real names names suggest it didn't go well. The 1-7 Skins (I checked, they beat Miami by 1 point) got beat 19-9 by Dalvin Cook last night.
On Sunday the clocks have moved stateside so games are kicking off an hour earlier than usual, anyone with a game time decision be warned. The early window features 9 games this week and kicks off with Seattle blowing out the Falcons in Atlanta, other potential blow outs in the early window include the Saints hosting the Cardinals and the Rams hosting the Bengals. In the late window the 49ers look to maintain their unbeaten season with a win against the Panthers and the Patriots look to do the same by completely eviscerating the Browns O-line and breaking Baker in half like a week old hot dog. In Sunday night prime time the Packers travel to Kansas in a game the network execs will be desperate for Mahomes to play in and on Monday night the Dolphins travel to Pittsburgh cause why the fuck not, it's Monday night football and I don't think anyone cares about showcasing the best the league has to offer any more, I mean they keep putting fucking Andy Dalton on.
In the Cadle Bowl we have one of our seasons most anticipated fixtures to kick things off. It's Raeanne versus Lewis, otherwise known as the 'Will Lewis have to sleep in the shed bowl' (catchy right?). This is a fixture where Lewis is notoriously quiet on the boasting front as he is smart enough to know that any gloating will result in him getting a breach from his wife. A win for Raeanne here ties her and Lewis up at 5-3. A win for Lewis opens up a gap and as per league rules everyone will be supporting Raeanne in this fixture. A lot of this tie is riding on the Pats Browns game as both QBs are in play and Raeanne is rolling with the uber confident Jarvis Landry, who just did a diluted Joe Namath and guaranteed a Browns win on Sunday. Ideally Raeanne needs a quiet game from CMC to keep her in this contest and speaking for the rest of the league I would just like to wish her the best of luck for Sunday, Lewis you can fuck off.
Next up we will get the eye cancer that will be me versus Emo out of the way. This match-up is likely to be the fantasy football equivalent of watching Smithy trying to score 5 goals without missing the target with no one else on the pitch. In an unusual turn of events for me I have woken up on Friday morning with a lead, largely thanks to Ryan having no part in Thursday nights game. What isn't unusual though is that I will still lose come Monday. In a week where I'm playing Sam Darnold after his -6 point game Emo probably doesn't even have to make a decision about Mahomes and will be fine rolling out Handsome Jim.
Speaking about Smithy and his lack of sporting talent this week we find him taking on Strawberry John, one of these teams is guaranteed a spot at the top by the end of the week and the other may find themselves right back in the play-offs mix. Diggs got John off to an early lead and he will be hoping to see some quick results from his Wilson-Lockett stack in a game that could get out of hand early. At running back Bell and Fournette face off in what he will be hoping is a low scoring ground and pound affair. Smithy gets the real life Terminator Saquon Barkley back for this week and he will be hoping for a commanding performance from the man who is most likely already destined for next years consensus 1.01 pick. Elsewhere at flex another one of last seasons darlings Michel can be no more than a desperation play, he hasn't looked himself and that coupled with Belichick hating your fantasy team and a packed RB locker room in New England leaves little upside.
Late last night Chris played Dalvin Cook. Dalvin James Cook (born August 10, 1995) is an American football running back for the Minnesota Vikings of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football at Florida State, where he finished his career as the school's all-time leading rusher. Cook was drafted by the Vikings in the second round of the 2017 NFL Draft.
Finally the leagues resident California dreamer Dave takes on the leagues resident stress ball Stew. Stew might be hoping to make it 2 wins in a row, at this point we can't really be sure as there is every chance he has forgotten he's in this league. Stew will be hoping that Michael Thomas and Allen Robinson can combine with his Rams offense to lay the pain on Dave and his RB corp of Shady and Jordan Howard (jesus fuck, how am I last?). Dave meanwhile is in LA and most likely has zero fucks to give about the outcome of this game. The rest of us are just glad Dave didn't go to LA 10 years ago as he would definitely have ended up in North Hollywood or South Central trying to buy drugs and guns from someone and would now be dead.
That's it, unlike my team I'm back from my hiatus and counting down the weeks until this shitshow is done. I no longer care if you win or lose unless you're Raeanne this week 'Go Tatties'. Enjoy your weekend, enjoy your match up and enjoy your beers. I'm thinking about some rum this weekend.
That's it, get the fuck out of here.
Endut Hock Heck
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