Week 4 Review - The Poop Report

Today is the first of October and as such there is a chill in the air and a whiff of hot trash emanating from the bottom of the table. Things are starting to separate out now and those of us at the bottom are starting to get desperate for some wins. Is now the time for action? Do any of the strugglers have the guts and ambition to pull off a bold trade and redefine their season or are we ready to write the year off as a lost cause already?
This week was a bit of a nightmare, particularly for myself, lots of players you would expect to score big didn't, here are a few examples
Tom Brady, Mr Terrific stank in the Patriots win against the Bills, registering possibly one of the seasons lowest QB scores for a starter.
Julio Jones, The Falcons were playing at home in their dome, Matt Ryan loves playing at home in his dome, the Falcons were down the whole game, Matt Ryan failed to get Julio going.
OBJ, the Ravens become the first D to not consistently collapse the pocket on Mayfield this season, OBJ maybe got 2 looks the whole game
Keenan Allen, the Chargers are playing Miami, Keenan Allen could only be more of a favoured target for Rivers if he played in an Antonio Gates face mask, the Dolphins couldn't stop Stew from getting a last pint at closing time if they tried, Rivers pretty much ignores Allen all game.
Packy Mahomes, this season has thrown 3 TDs, 4 TDs, 3 TDs then zero TDs totally fucking up what you would expect to get from him.
DeAndre Hopkins, whilst he has struggled since week 1, he was heading for a safe if mediocre stat line until he threw an interception!
Elsewhere in the league Danny Dimes won his second straight game and looks to have firmly ended the Eli era, Lewis will be raising a glass later on this week. The Rams stumbled to defeat against the mighty Bucs. The 49ers can claim to be the third undefeated team left. Overall this was a good week to be on the road.
In the Cadle Bowl, the Untradeables finally got in the win column with a bit of a blow out win against Snowflake. Stew's Rams finally came through for him with 20+ point games each, this coupled with woeful performances by Marlon Mack and Josh Gordon left Stew on easy street and actually dragged his team off bottom, swapping places with Cregles flash in the pan steaming pile of awfulness.
As mentioned earlier Raeanne could only watch on in horror as Thielen and Brady conspired to scupper her chances. Frustratingly for Raeanne she had the points to take the win, her big off season acquisition Wentz racked them up on her bench alongside the Laundry man Jarvis. It has to be assumed that Raeanne took some 'advice' on her starters here, maybe one day she will learn to ignore it. Strawbs meanwhile is doing an excellent job of not leaving all of his points on his bench and with the win joins a four way tie at the summit.
Ryan put up a respectable scoreline this week that would have got the job done against half the league, unfortunately this week he ran into Chris's buzz saw of a team. Once again Ryan was let down by Sammy Watkins and his patience must be wearing thin with the self proclaimed lizard king. Chris got off to a flier on Thursday with a solid outing from Davante Adams, he was then carried to victory by an excellent score from his Patriots defence. Despite a shocking challenge on Bills QB Allen, the Patriot Johnson wasn't ejected from the game and hasn't been banned for the season despite his tackle being almost identical to Burficts, proving the Patriots are the huns of America.
I think I have covered what went wrong with my team already but safe to say after complaining about losing despite scoring big so far, my team whiffed this weekend. Smithy jumped out to a lead on Thursday and never looked back. Stew and Cregles are currently keeping me off bottom but without a change in fortunes that might not last.
Finally Lewis won comfortably against Dave. His team was let down badly by his passing players, this coupled with a less than stellar performance by Elliott left Dave struggling. Although you have to wonder if this loss was of Daves own making, it's a bad spot when you need Rudolph and Dalton to get your receivers the ball on Monday night for the win. Lewis meanwhile survived having a player with a negative score thanks to a good outing from CMC and TJ Hocker finding the paint.

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