Week 1 review - My name is Gardener
So that is week 1 in the books and what a week it was. Things really kicked off on Saturday when the Antonio Brown story went full Scottish Football. To celebrate 100 years of the National Football League the Americans have decided to emulate the most bonkers league on the planet and this season is now officially known as Antonio Brown - the banter years.
Like most of the crazy Scottish stories this one ended atIbrox Foxboro. The big question now is will Brown be miraculously cured of his crazy, we have to suspect that yes he will be, if not expect more bodies in the Boston area.
Once we actually got down to football on Sunday Paddy Mahomes picked up where he left off which is definitely a good thing for the Chiefs given they allowed some guy who was starring in an Amdram production of My Name is Earl the night before to break all kinds of rookie records against them. Worryingly for the Chiefs (and Hills family) is that Tyreek will be spending a lot more time at home over the next few weeks. Hill suffered a shoulder injury that led to pressure in his abdomen and his clavicle seperating from the rest of his skeleton. This has resulted in one of the stars of week 1, Sammy Watkins going full Lizard people defcon one and we await next week to see if the bodysnatchers that have infiltrated his team finally get him.
In Miami the 12 people that turned up for this opener quickly learned what the 60k that didn't bother turning up already knew - Miami are terrible. The only true takeaway we can get from this game is start your players against Miami, unless they're Jets cause Miami will definitely win that one.
Speaking of which, the Jets big money off season acquisitions on both sides of the ball found the paint in a game being played in Gotham against a hated division rival, where said rival was shut out first half and they still lost. Rumours of Belichicks laugh being heard all the way from Boston are greatly exaggerated.
In Pittsburgh the Steelers proved they don't need any superstars by getting ritually slaughtered by the aforementioned Patriots. In Cleveland the Browns were playing pre-season week 5 while everyone else was on regular season week 1 and it showed. Baker marched the Browns up the field for a TD on the opening possession then in true pre-season fashion everyone basically went home. The Browns O-line spent the rest of the game marching the team backwards with a stream of fouls while Baker got locked into Titans and spent the rest of the game drilling the ball into their open arms.
Now on to our week 1 match ups. In the big opening tilt 'The Commish Bowl' the young pretender led valiantly from kick off on Thursday all the way to the late late game on Monday but the wiley old fox and the only rookie RB in the match up to score points combined to seize the win and the trophy in the end. HC Lewis said 'look the new Commish is younger than me, better looking than me, has more hair than me, it was important that I could land at least one blow on him'.
Chris took the W against Strawberry John largely thanks to Dalvin Cook answering the questions posed before the game while Fournette struggled without Foles. The big surprise of this match up was that Strawbs didn't leave enough points on his bench to easily win the match.
In the Roshambowl Stew succeeded in making sure that he wasn't an early season recipient of a swift kick to the balls after being trounced by Raeanne and her high flying Bojangles. Before the game everyone wanted to know if one fantasy team could support three Rams and the answer seems to be no. Particularly worrying for the Rag Tags was the lack of work for Gurley and a Rams front office that seemingly hasn't bothered seeking any medical opinions on the condition of his knees.
Another team routed in week one was Smithy and his Cowboys, some poor week one performances from some of his star players may have given an artificially low representation of his teams potential but that injury to Tyreek Hill means Smithy needs to make waiver moves already.
In the final match up Cregles got thrashed, the Snowflakes were stunned by a series of self inflicted blows to the mid section although to be fair it seemed unlikely they would ever recover from Sammy Watkins and his lizard powered performance. No Names HC Ryan after the match felt vindication over what he perceived as a series of slights to his draft strategy 'I've always said you've got to trust in the process, this season I've big things planned for the No Names'. At one point it seemed that Ryan was going to really troll Craig and leave AB in his line up, a move he could have made and still won, such was the comfort of the win. Questions remain over whether a title tilt is planned or if the teams ambitions are just not to finish last, only time will tell.
Cregles meanwhile has to be seriously thinking about a full rebuild before his must win game against Raeanne.
Like most of the crazy Scottish stories this one ended at
Once we actually got down to football on Sunday Paddy Mahomes picked up where he left off which is definitely a good thing for the Chiefs given they allowed some guy who was starring in an Amdram production of My Name is Earl the night before to break all kinds of rookie records against them. Worryingly for the Chiefs (and Hills family) is that Tyreek will be spending a lot more time at home over the next few weeks. Hill suffered a shoulder injury that led to pressure in his abdomen and his clavicle seperating from the rest of his skeleton. This has resulted in one of the stars of week 1, Sammy Watkins going full Lizard people defcon one and we await next week to see if the bodysnatchers that have infiltrated his team finally get him.
In Miami the 12 people that turned up for this opener quickly learned what the 60k that didn't bother turning up already knew - Miami are terrible. The only true takeaway we can get from this game is start your players against Miami, unless they're Jets cause Miami will definitely win that one.
Speaking of which, the Jets big money off season acquisitions on both sides of the ball found the paint in a game being played in Gotham against a hated division rival, where said rival was shut out first half and they still lost. Rumours of Belichicks laugh being heard all the way from Boston are greatly exaggerated.
In Pittsburgh the Steelers proved they don't need any superstars by getting ritually slaughtered by the aforementioned Patriots. In Cleveland the Browns were playing pre-season week 5 while everyone else was on regular season week 1 and it showed. Baker marched the Browns up the field for a TD on the opening possession then in true pre-season fashion everyone basically went home. The Browns O-line spent the rest of the game marching the team backwards with a stream of fouls while Baker got locked into Titans and spent the rest of the game drilling the ball into their open arms.
Now on to our week 1 match ups. In the big opening tilt 'The Commish Bowl' the young pretender led valiantly from kick off on Thursday all the way to the late late game on Monday but the wiley old fox and the only rookie RB in the match up to score points combined to seize the win and the trophy in the end. HC Lewis said 'look the new Commish is younger than me, better looking than me, has more hair than me, it was important that I could land at least one blow on him'.
Chris took the W against Strawberry John largely thanks to Dalvin Cook answering the questions posed before the game while Fournette struggled without Foles. The big surprise of this match up was that Strawbs didn't leave enough points on his bench to easily win the match.
In the Roshambowl Stew succeeded in making sure that he wasn't an early season recipient of a swift kick to the balls after being trounced by Raeanne and her high flying Bojangles. Before the game everyone wanted to know if one fantasy team could support three Rams and the answer seems to be no. Particularly worrying for the Rag Tags was the lack of work for Gurley and a Rams front office that seemingly hasn't bothered seeking any medical opinions on the condition of his knees.
Another team routed in week one was Smithy and his Cowboys, some poor week one performances from some of his star players may have given an artificially low representation of his teams potential but that injury to Tyreek Hill means Smithy needs to make waiver moves already.
In the final match up Cregles got thrashed, the Snowflakes were stunned by a series of self inflicted blows to the mid section although to be fair it seemed unlikely they would ever recover from Sammy Watkins and his lizard powered performance. No Names HC Ryan after the match felt vindication over what he perceived as a series of slights to his draft strategy 'I've always said you've got to trust in the process, this season I've big things planned for the No Names'. At one point it seemed that Ryan was going to really troll Craig and leave AB in his line up, a move he could have made and still won, such was the comfort of the win. Questions remain over whether a title tilt is planned or if the teams ambitions are just not to finish last, only time will tell.
Cregles meanwhile has to be seriously thinking about a full rebuild before his must win game against Raeanne.
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