Week 2 - AB, the banter years
Before we begin I would like to say that this weeks write up is rather early but I feel I must pass on some parting advice from the former commissioner in an attempt to justify my premature write up. Whilst handing over the keys to the office Commissioner Lewis gave me a knowing look in the eye and said 'never do anything for free if you can get your work to pay you for doing it'. Since I'm on holiday for the rest of the week much like your daily dump I'm getting this article written before I go home.
So week 2 rolls around and those of us with normal sleeping patterns awoke to a flurry of activity, at airports all across Scotland. American journalists desperate for any sort of guidance on how to deal with the crazy old AB story are flying Scottish sport hacks over the pond in an attempt to get this moving target of a story covered as fully as possible. Early indications are that an attempt will be made to use the addicted to Baileys excuse. The latest news couldn't come at a worse time for Tom Brady as he sets off for work and leaves crazy old Tony at home with Giselle.
On the waivers as predicted Craig made a few desperate moves after his opening loss, the wire was dominated by rookie receiver pick ups, can these players sustain their week one form or will they be back down to earth shortly. The hyper efficiency at low routes run and snaps taken suggests anyone banking on these players to pick up the W in week 2 may be disappointed. Having said that what do I know? My RBs are both the most talented backs on teams run by boneheaded morons that insist on a committee approach to the backfield and the use of playbooks written in crayon.
Week 2 kicks off in Carolina where two of week ones worst Quarterbacks face off against each other. Anyone relying on players other than CMC may find themselves in an uphill battle to win their match up come Friday morning.
In the early slate on Sunday the Cardinals travel to Baltimore to face a buoyant Ravens fresh off of their evisceration of Miami. Kyler, Kliff and the Kards(?) air raid face a stiff challenge against a mean Ravens defence. The high flying Ravens will look to build on last weeks result against a D that can be scored against. From a personal point of view hopefully the Cards keep this closer than Miami did as I would quite like Lamar to play the whole match.
Elsewhere the Steelers look to bounce back at home in a tough match up against Seattle. Jacksonville travel to Houston without their starting QB and with big questions over the teams ability to maintain discipline.
In Miami most of the team have handed in transfer requests in a desperate attempt to be anywhere other than Florida when the current super bowl champs roll into town. Famously Bill Belichick and New England always remove their oppositions most potent attacking threat. This tactic may actually work in the Dolphins favour this week as it is quite difficult to determine if they have any attacking threat. Meanwhile rumours that the game will be played behind closed doors and in a media blackout seem unfounded at this stage.
Week 2 finishes on Monday night with a get right game for Cleveland in NewJersey York. Mayfield, OBJ et al will be hoping to bounce back from their pre-season week 5 horror show against a New York outfit that look determined to remind the Giants exactly who is the worst team in the big apple.
In the Cadle Bowl we begin with last weeks surprise outfit, No Use For a Name and their match up with the Craft Cowboys. On paper this match looks close, the Cowboys are looking to roll out a couple of Pats in their plus plus match up against Miami. On the other side of the ball Ryan is hoping Packy Mahomes remains dialed in to the Lizard King Sammy Watkins whilst hoping Oakland can stay with the Chiefs and keep the star pair from last week on the field. Of general note is Ryans continued ownership of AB, the feeling is this situation has to come to a head sooner or later, does Ryan trust Belichick and play AB, is it likely the Pats will even suit him up in a match up where Brady can probably rush for over 100 and 3 TDs himself? These are the type of decisions any GM looking to go all the way has to make and could set an early marker on the league with the correct decision this week.
Next up is Raeannes match up with Cregles. This week coverage of Cregles match up is in the form of the opening paragraph of a one star review of Sex and the City 2
Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of "Sex and the City 2" are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row. Their defining quality is consuming things. They gobble food, fashion, houses, husbands, children, vitamins and freebies. They must plan their wardrobes on the phone, so often do they appear in different basic colors, like the plugs you pound into a Playskool workbench.
Next we're off to London where SJ1 takes on the leagues resident Ewok, Wee Dave. Concerns about Daves RB2 situation look to be real as Barber looks unable to get the job done in this Arians offence, however a dearth of talent at the position leaves Dave scrambling around for alternatives. Strawbs meanwhile is less concerned with getting something in the win column than he is with continuing his streak of not leaving everything on the bench.
Our penultimate match up is perhaps the leagues biggest grudge fixture, things often get ugly when Chris and Lewis face off and everyone is hoping for more of the same here. The big questions in this match up are can DJ produce against the Ravens and mitigate the hefty points total Lewis is likely to see from CMC? will Lewis plug in James Washington against the leagues resident Steelers homer in an attempt to ice the win with a troll? Is it wise to play the Chiefs D after an ill disciplined Jags side showed they can be scored against, particularly when one of your star RBs is facing off against your own D?
Finally I face off against Stew in a match up that takes place over about 4 games. I'm hoping my Ravens can pile up the points on the Cards while the Ravens D can make the rookie Kyler Murray turn the ball over regularly. Stew is hoping week 1 was a blip and Gurley gets the goal line work and Goff isn't just a terrible QB. The likelihood of this match up is that I go into Monday in the reverse of last week, behind and requiring a big game from my last man up OBJ to sneak the win at the death. Failure in this game will leave someone 0-2 at the bottom of the table with Cregles and facing an early season uphill battle to recover.
So week 2 rolls around and those of us with normal sleeping patterns awoke to a flurry of activity, at airports all across Scotland. American journalists desperate for any sort of guidance on how to deal with the crazy old AB story are flying Scottish sport hacks over the pond in an attempt to get this moving target of a story covered as fully as possible. Early indications are that an attempt will be made to use the addicted to Baileys excuse. The latest news couldn't come at a worse time for Tom Brady as he sets off for work and leaves crazy old Tony at home with Giselle.
On the waivers as predicted Craig made a few desperate moves after his opening loss, the wire was dominated by rookie receiver pick ups, can these players sustain their week one form or will they be back down to earth shortly. The hyper efficiency at low routes run and snaps taken suggests anyone banking on these players to pick up the W in week 2 may be disappointed. Having said that what do I know? My RBs are both the most talented backs on teams run by boneheaded morons that insist on a committee approach to the backfield and the use of playbooks written in crayon.
Week 2 kicks off in Carolina where two of week ones worst Quarterbacks face off against each other. Anyone relying on players other than CMC may find themselves in an uphill battle to win their match up come Friday morning.
In the early slate on Sunday the Cardinals travel to Baltimore to face a buoyant Ravens fresh off of their evisceration of Miami. Kyler, Kliff and the Kards(?) air raid face a stiff challenge against a mean Ravens defence. The high flying Ravens will look to build on last weeks result against a D that can be scored against. From a personal point of view hopefully the Cards keep this closer than Miami did as I would quite like Lamar to play the whole match.
Elsewhere the Steelers look to bounce back at home in a tough match up against Seattle. Jacksonville travel to Houston without their starting QB and with big questions over the teams ability to maintain discipline.
In Miami most of the team have handed in transfer requests in a desperate attempt to be anywhere other than Florida when the current super bowl champs roll into town. Famously Bill Belichick and New England always remove their oppositions most potent attacking threat. This tactic may actually work in the Dolphins favour this week as it is quite difficult to determine if they have any attacking threat. Meanwhile rumours that the game will be played behind closed doors and in a media blackout seem unfounded at this stage.
Week 2 finishes on Monday night with a get right game for Cleveland in New
In the Cadle Bowl we begin with last weeks surprise outfit, No Use For a Name and their match up with the Craft Cowboys. On paper this match looks close, the Cowboys are looking to roll out a couple of Pats in their plus plus match up against Miami. On the other side of the ball Ryan is hoping Packy Mahomes remains dialed in to the Lizard King Sammy Watkins whilst hoping Oakland can stay with the Chiefs and keep the star pair from last week on the field. Of general note is Ryans continued ownership of AB, the feeling is this situation has to come to a head sooner or later, does Ryan trust Belichick and play AB, is it likely the Pats will even suit him up in a match up where Brady can probably rush for over 100 and 3 TDs himself? These are the type of decisions any GM looking to go all the way has to make and could set an early marker on the league with the correct decision this week.
Next up is Raeannes match up with Cregles. This week coverage of Cregles match up is in the form of the opening paragraph of a one star review of Sex and the City 2
Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of "Sex and the City 2" are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row. Their defining quality is consuming things. They gobble food, fashion, houses, husbands, children, vitamins and freebies. They must plan their wardrobes on the phone, so often do they appear in different basic colors, like the plugs you pound into a Playskool workbench.
Next we're off to London where SJ1 takes on the leagues resident Ewok, Wee Dave. Concerns about Daves RB2 situation look to be real as Barber looks unable to get the job done in this Arians offence, however a dearth of talent at the position leaves Dave scrambling around for alternatives. Strawbs meanwhile is less concerned with getting something in the win column than he is with continuing his streak of not leaving everything on the bench.
Our penultimate match up is perhaps the leagues biggest grudge fixture, things often get ugly when Chris and Lewis face off and everyone is hoping for more of the same here. The big questions in this match up are can DJ produce against the Ravens and mitigate the hefty points total Lewis is likely to see from CMC? will Lewis plug in James Washington against the leagues resident Steelers homer in an attempt to ice the win with a troll? Is it wise to play the Chiefs D after an ill disciplined Jags side showed they can be scored against, particularly when one of your star RBs is facing off against your own D?
Finally I face off against Stew in a match up that takes place over about 4 games. I'm hoping my Ravens can pile up the points on the Cards while the Ravens D can make the rookie Kyler Murray turn the ball over regularly. Stew is hoping week 1 was a blip and Gurley gets the goal line work and Goff isn't just a terrible QB. The likelihood of this match up is that I go into Monday in the reverse of last week, behind and requiring a big game from my last man up OBJ to sneak the win at the death. Failure in this game will leave someone 0-2 at the bottom of the table with Cregles and facing an early season uphill battle to recover.
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