Week 3 - Lets get this thing done

We've waited all spring and summer for football and now all of a sudden we're nearly at the end of September and week 3 has already started. It won't be long until November and the dog weeks of the campaign. This week has been relatively quiet for NFL100 and I thought I might make it through this write up without a banter years report but alas no! I woke up this morning to discover that the mad, bad and dangerous to know Antonio Brown is now being accused of sending a string of what are being perceived as threatening texts to his second alleged assault victim, at this point you have to assume that not even playing for rangers, the evil empire, hamas, the Patriots is going to save him. Oh and Swag Kelly got cut again, the XFL could be all kinds of cray cray next year!
Now to actual football, the week started last night with the Titans facing off against the Jags, the Titans did Titan things i.e. nothing of fantasy note. On the other side of the ball while the Jags won comfortably the only player to do anything fantasy relevant was the sex bomb himself, Mr Gardener Minshew (I suppose Lenny did ok too on 1 play), but realistically the only person in the league who would have played him is Cregles and at this point he might be wishing he did.
In Sundays early slate some notable match ups include a potential barnstormer in Kansas as the Chiefs and Ravens come head to head. While everyone is talking about Lamar Jacksons ability to keep up with Paddy Mahomes, the big question for me is can Mahomes blow the doors off of this Ravens D, if he can its a shoot out, if he can't then the Ravens and Jackson should take the W on a Chiefs D that can be scored on. Elsewhere the Jets travel to Foxboro where the Patriots will go 3-0 even while Brady spends the whole weekend worrying about getting ill. Elsewhere the Dolphins take their shit-show on the road to Texas down 2 Fitzpatricks and with things about to get a hell of a lot worse for histories worst football team.
In the later slate the most noteworthy match up is in LA where the Texans take on the Bolts although the curiosity games in the late window are in Seattle and San Fransisco where we look to see if the Saints two headed monster will work and how red Rudolphs nose is. Later on when us normal people are in bed Stew will be watching the Rams in Cleveland in what will hopefully be an explosive affair although both QBs have been less than ideal so far and another week of poor play under center could leave fans disappointed.
On Monday the Bears travel to Washington in what will be a turgid affair.
Now to the Cadle Bowl and straight to the bottom of the table where I take on Cregles, here's Homer talking about not being with it anymore;

Homer: I went to the record store today and they were playing all that music I've never heard of. It was like the store had gone crazy.

Marge: Hmm. Record stores have always seemed crazy to me, but it doesn't upset me. Music is none of my business.

Homer: That's all well and good for you, but I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day... now I'm lucky to find half an hour a week in which to get funky. I've got to get out of this rut and back into the groove.

In the other bottom of the table clash Stew faces a tough match up against Officer, sorry Sheriff Lewis. Stew is desperate to get a 1 in the wins and not get cast adrift at the foot of the table. Lewis meanwhile is coming off of a thrashing by his arch rival and as two time defending champ will be looking to put the hurt on the Untradeables. This is likely to be a tight affair and interestingly might not be settled until Monday morning with a QB battle for the dub.

Next up Wee Dave takes on Chris in another projected squeaker of an affair, Chris will be looking to emphasis his win over Lewis last week and maintain his unbeaten start to the season. Dave will be looking at shoes or something and may glance at his phone occasionally.

The newest resident of London Ryan Heatly still has no use for a name but does have use for a win and will hope to be getting it against Strawbs. Ryan wants to show he is on a big man ting and prove his team is actually dench after stumbling week 2 in a madting of a matchup. He'll be hoping to lock arff this match up early and stop mandem SJ1 from grinding on his lump of ice. Strawbs meanwhile will be hoping to par Emo and peak him with a win. Got it fam? Safe.

Last up is the sugarlump bowl where Smithy takes on Raeanne, Raeanne is also hoping that her autodrafted (insert eyeroll) team remains undefeated and with Luck finishes the week clear at the top. Smithy meanwhile knows the win puts both of them on the same 2-1 scoreline in a high stakes match up.

Thats it, whatever you're doing this weekend enjoy, don't get as drunk as Lewis did last weekend (unless you are Lewis cause he's trained for that kind of thing) and good Luck unless you're playing me also, 

For more information on Grand Funk, consult your school library!